Apaza Comienzo
by ChichaApaza
Summary: Pre-TENG  Chicha Apaza is the daughter of Atoc and Chasca Apaza, a newly-wed couple in an arranged marriage. While Atoc and Chasca are busy trying to sort themselves out, they also attempt to run the village and raise their daughter.
1. June The 25th

"Push Chasca, push!" the elderly woman exclaimed, looking over the swelled belly of one Chasca Apaza. Atoc Apaza, her husband, looked on worriedly. He had no idea what to do, and when men feel useless, they will find a way to make themselves feel useful.  
>"For pities sakes woman! Tell her something she doesn't know!" he yelled, running his fingers over his dark mustache. He had waited 9 months for this, and he'd be damned if that old bag was going to ruin this for him or his wife. Couldn't she say something more useful?<br>"Atoc, leave!" Chasca gasped, her face red and her long hair plastered to her forehead with sweat, "I need her here, I don't need you yelling!" Atoc looked at her, his face almost as red as hers with embarassment and anger. Chasca reached over, grasping a vase and whipped it at him. He moved aside just in time, they beautiful pottery shattering against the wall beside him. Their marriage had never exactly been a peaceful one; but throwing things was new. Even if Atoc's reflexes implied otherwise.  
>"GET OUT!" she yelled, before letting out a long groan as another contraction hit her full force. He turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him. That woman was difficult to deal with normally, she was a nightmare while in pain. He sat in the chair, still running his fingers over his mustache as he heard her scream, "WHY DID I LET HIM DO THIS TO ME. SUN GODS HE CAN HAVE THIS PAIN!"<br>He shook his head, running his fingers through his thick hair. It will be worth it, he thought to himself, when this is done and over with and I have my son in my arms.

He spent the time in the hall asking himself many questions. First off, where on earth were Chasca's parents? Shouldn't her mother be in there with her, helping her deliver her first son? And where was her father? Wouldn't he want to see his first grandson? Atoc shook his head, looking up the ceiling of the dwelling. Sun God, help my wife deliver a strong son.

What if it were a girl? He had never considered the notion that he may have a daughter. He rolled his shoulders, shaking off the thought. No, he would have sons, many sons who would make him proud. They would be just like him, though hopefully not as foolish.

He froze, just minutes later, when a thin scream pierced the air.

"You're almost there, just push one more time, big push!" the woman told Chasca, and with a thin scream, she pushed the child out into the world. The woman cleaned the child off, clearing it's mouth and nose as it began to cry.  
>"It's a girl!" the woman exclaimed, holding out the baby. Atoc burst through the doors, a look of joy and relief washing over his features.<br>"Is it a son?" he asked, looking at the child in the old woman's arms.  
>"No," Chasca replied, her voice dull and exhausted, "A girl."<br>Atoc looked down at the tiny face in his arms, smiling gently at the girl. She was beautiful. She was perfect, he thought as he counted all 10 fingers and toes, and she was his. "And what a beautiful thing she is," he said, touching her nose gently, "My little Chicha, Mi Reina."


	2. Why, Why, Why?

"Chicha!" Chasca exclaimed, grasping ahold of the the toddlers chubby arm, "Why are you tearing through this house like a beast? Proper ladies walk," she rubbed her temple, looking exasperated, "You would think I had the son I wanted, the way you behave," she muttered.  
>Chicha large brown eyes stared up into her mother's similar ones, looking generally displeased. She didn't want to be a proper lady. She wanted to run. She walked slowly until she was out of her mother's sight before running to the garden outside.<p>

"Papi!" she squealed, running through the rows of plants, tackling her father's knees, "Papi, I help?" Atoc chuckled, patting his daughters dark hair.  
>"Of course, Mi Reina. You can help Papi with the llamas, si?"<br>She nodded, stumbling behind him as she tried to keep up with his long strides.  
>"Papi!" she cried, tripping and falling on her hands and knees. Atoc stopped, going back to pick her up. He gently dusted her off, smiling.<br>"Mi Reina's legs are still too little to keep up with Papi, eh?" he teased, kissing her forehead. She nodded, a familiar pout on her full little lips. He smirked to himself, she looked like her mother when she did that. He scooped her up, hoisting her onto his shoulder.  
>"Papi, why we have llamas?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his head.<br>"We have llamas because we need their wool. We make the wool into thread and cloth and then we make clothes and other things," he explained patiently.  
>"Like what?" she asked, her voice spilling with curiosity.<br>"Sometimes cloth is used to make sails for ships," he replied, "Or they make Hammocks, like mine."  
>"Or dresses!" she squealed, grinning.<br>"Yes, or dresses," he said nodding.  
>"Papi, why I not 'llowed to run?" she asked, peeking at the side of his face. Atoc's mind froze for a moment, trying to think of how he could possibly answer that.<br>"Well, your mother doesn't like it," he said, his voice laced with confusion.  
>"But Papi," Chicha whined, "Why?"<br>"I don't really know," he said after a few moments of silence, "Sometimes it's a good idea not to ask why."

"Papi, why Mama want me to be a boy?" she fired again, resting her cheek on the crown of his hair.  
>"She doesn't want you to be a boy," he replied, lifting her off his shoulder.<br>"Yes Papi!" she argued, "Mama want me to be a boy."

Atoc stopped again, looking down at his daughter. It wasn't right for Chasca to make offhanded remarks about wanting a son to him...but it was a very very big problem if she was saying such things to little Chicha.  
>"You're just right the way you are," he said firmly, "Don't ever think otherwise." She snuggled against his chest, smiling.<br>"Yes, Papi," she sighed. Atoc patted the tiny girl's back, smiling to himself.

She was his little friend, his little slice of heaven. He glanced down to see she was fast asleep, her little mouth drooped open and her hair stuck to her forehead. He kissed her brow, turning and walking back up the hill towards their home. The moment he walked in, however, there was a loud sound from another room.  
>"Atoc!" Chasca yelled, stomping towards the door. Atoc waved his free hand frantically, motioning the sleeping Chicha on his shoulder. Chasca rolled her eyes, still looking angry, and pointed to the girl's bedroom. Atoc laid her down in her bed, kissing her forehead once more before returning to the battle field that was their front room.<p>

"Where is the money?" she demanded, throwing an empty leather pouch on the floor at his feet. He shrugged, his face placid. "Don't give me that," she spat, her eyes narrowing, "I need that money."  
>"For what?" he asked, his voice showing his disbelief, "For another visit by yourself to Cusco? No, Chasca. You need to stay here. You need to care for Chicha."<br>"Do not tell me what I need to do!" she hissed, "I know what I need to do. I care for my daughter just as well as any other mother."  
>"Why does she think you wish she was a boy?" he demanded.<br>"I don't know! What does it matter? I wish she were a boy, at least we don't need to lie."  
>"I love her the way she is," Atoc said, his deep voice gentle and soft, "I love my daughter."<br>"As do I," Chasca replied, "But we had hoped, prayed for a son. Don't you sometimes wish it had gone differently? Don't you wish you had a son to carry on your name?" Atoc rubbed his face, looking defeated.  
>"Chasca..." he began, his voice and demeanor screaming of his weariness with his wife.<br>"At least I can admit the truth to myself," she said, turning and leaving the room.

Atoc slouched in his chair, his body and mind all but exhausted by the argument. He ran his fingers through his hair, wondering once again to himself if this was all worth it.

"Papi...?"

He looked over to see Chicha, looking scared and pale, from the doorway of her room. They'd scared her. She knew they were talking about her. "Come here, Reina," he said, patting his lap. She ran over, scrambling onto his lap and burying her face in his shirt."I love you, Papi," she whispered.

It was worth it.


	3. For Her

"Papi?" She asked, poking her head around the doorway of his room, "Where's Mother?" Atoc looked exhausted, slouched in his chair, staring out the window.  
>"Your mother went on a trip," her said, his voice soft and gentle, despite the bitterness in the words. She tiptoed into the room, coming over to his chair. She stared up at him with doleful brown eyes; a sharp barb to his heart. She was the spitting image of her mother.<br>"Is she gonna come back?" she asked, her voice quivering. Atoc sat up, looking confused. "Reina, what are you talking about?" he asked, his fingers running through his hair.  
>"Mother said she wasn comin back," she whispered, "I made her mad an now she's not comin back."<br>"No no, Reina," he said quietly, "I made her angry- you could never make her that mad. I promise."  
>Chicha sat on her father's lap, looking down at her hands.<br>"I make Mother mad when I don do things right," she mumbled, " I can't do lots of things Mother wants me to do an she gets mad."

Atoc ran his fingers over his mustache, trying to figure a way to explain things to his little 6 year old daughter. How can you explain the heart of a bitter woman? How could he even begin to when his heart was the same in many ways? He poured what was left of him into his daughter- there was nothing left for his wife when there wasn't much to begin with. She looked up at him, and he looked away. She looked so much like her mother, and he couldn't escape the guilt he felt inside when looking at her.

"Reina," he said, softly, his eyes closing as he rested his hands on her shoulders, "I love you very much. And Mother loves you very much. But Me and Mother don't love each other, you understand?" Chicha stared up at him, confusion written plainly on her face. Her hands reached over and grasped her long braided hair, twisting it nervously. "Papi..." she said, her eyes narrowing as she tried to comprehend, "What does that mean?"

Atoc sighed, holding Chicha close as he stood, carrying her back to bed. He laid her down, tucking her in and planting a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Sleep. It doesn't mean anything."

How could he have even begun to tell her the truth- the truth that he didn't even want to face himself? He sat down, rubbing his temple. Because telling her- telling his most precious love- would make it real. It would make it true. He packed his pipe with tobacco, his mind racing. There was a good chance Chasca would not return home...but would he really be bothered by it? She was always yelling, something Atoc couldn't stand in the least. He didn't mind a woman with opinions and spirit. He hated a woman whose opinions had no thought behind them...and when they were spoken through a shrill speaker. He chuckled, hoping to himself that of any of the things his daughter would inherit from him, it would be his mind. Chasca was not unintelligent, but she wasn't a clear thinker. But if she didn't return, what would happen to Chicha? She needed her mother- even if the woman couldn't be bothered to be patient with her. Atoc couldn't teach his daughter anything that a woman should know...he could make her into a fine son, but a daughter...it was beyond his capabilities. He would have to give in. He looked towards his daughter's room, sighing.

He would give in for his Reina.

"Chasca, come home," he begged, "Please come home to us." She looked up at him, her eyes narrowed.  
>"What misguided sense of guilt brought you here, Atoc?" she demanded, "Because I know you better than that. You would never stoop so low as to beg me for anything. " He looked away, his chest pierced with icy regret. He shouldn't have come here. Her eyes widened then narrowed, her pretty lips opening to let out a short hard laugh.<br>"It's for her," she whispered, "It's all for her. You don't want me back. It's all for her." She stood, coming towards him. "Tell me why you're here," she demanded, "Look me in the eye and tell me that you love me and want me to come home. You do that, and I'm yours." Atoc opened hos mouth, before closing it again a few seconds later.  
>"She needs you," he said simply.<br>"You've never sacrificed your pride for anyone," she said, her eyes hardening, "Except her. Am I really in competition with my own child for your love?"  
>"No," he said quietly, "I could never love you as much as I love her," He shook his head, his voice throbbing with deep sadness, "I never loved you that way- and you never loved me that way. We did what was expected of us. No more, no less."<br>"Don't stand here in front of me and tell me you never loved me- you must have loved me once," she said her own voice quivering as she neared her brink.  
>"I loved the idea of you," he replied, "And I love what you have borne. But nothing more."<br>"Such words can not be taken back," she whispered, collapsing on a chair. Atoc reached out, touching her cheek gently.  
>"To take them back would be a lie," he whispered, kissing her forehead, "There is nothing."<br>Chasca pushed her hair back out of her face, her eyes streaming.  
>"How," she began, her voice waterlogged, "How did we get here?"<br>"We were always here," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck, "We didn't want to get married. Don't you remember? Or was 7 years long enough for you to forget that you punched me right before our wedding?" Chasca chuckled ruefully at the memory.  
>"I had a mean right hook," she joked, looking up at him, "I didn't want to marry you."<br>"And my eye was swollen shut for a week," he responded, grinning in spite of himself, "You wanted to run off with that man from the emperor's city. That young Adviser. What was his name?"  
>"Amaruinti," she replied, looking once more out the window.<br>"He was too old for you," Atoc said, his voice unable to disguise his disgust.  
>"He was 23," she said, glaring, "You were 17."<br>"And you were 14!" he exclaimed, "You were used like a bargaining chip. I just happened to have what your father wanted most."  
>"He would get no special privilege if I have married Amaruinti," she said, "But I loved him."<br>"You were too young to know what love is!" he spat.  
>"Are we not still too young?" she replied, "I've barely lived 22 summers. You've barely lived 25. Don't pretend to be wise, Atoc, I see right through you."<br>"Please...just come home. You can come here whenever you please; I'll give you the money for it. But you must come home. For our daughter."  
>"I'll come back and play family," she sighed, "But she follows my rules. I will be the one to raise her. She'll come with me to Cuzco when I will be no compromise on that," she glared at him, "And while we are gone, you can enjoy the filthy whores you love so much." Atoc bit his tongue, resisting the urge to argue with her.<p>

This was best, this was the best thing he could do for his little Reina.


	4. I'll Make Myself Wings

"Just a little higher," Chicha whispered to herself, willing her legs to push her up the rest of the way into the middle of the tree. When she finally managed to grab the branch, she let out a small whoop of excitement. She did it, despite anything anyone said. She proved them wrong. She seated herself on the branch, looking at the ground far below her bare feet.

"Little ladies don't climb trees!" she said to herself, mocking her mother, "Wild horseplay is for boys, not little ladies! Psh!" she finished with a grin, "I bet no boy could climb this high!" She sighed, enjoying her tiny victory. Sure, she loved her mother, but sometimes she could be so...strict. She looked over the fields that surrounded her home, filled with milling Llamas and shepherds keeping track of them. She sighed, swinging her legs. It had been ages since traders had been up in their tiny village, and even longer since she had been out of the village. She daydreamed of all the books she had traded with travelers for being their guide.

"Dragons," she said, her voice hushed, "Great flying fire-breathing beasts. All slain by great heros." She spread her arms, feeling the air rush past her face and arms, whipping her hair back as she pretended to fly.

"Chicha!"

The voice below her startled her so bad she almost fell out of the tree, had it not been for her suddenly getting good grip on the branch. She glared down below her to see her friend, Pacha.  
>"What do you want?" she demanded, her face wearing its trademark scowl.<br>"Whadderya doin up there?" he asked, "Your Mom is gonna be really mad if she finds out!"

"I'm flying," she responded in a dreamy voice, before snapping back to reality. "She won't find out if you don't tell her!" she quipped back, "So keep it a secret, motormouth."  
>Pacha looked up at her, his face solemn.<br>"I'd never tell your secrets to anyone."  
>"Anyone?" she demanded.<br>"Never!" he responded, his voiced filled with sincerity, "But can you please come down?"

She rolled her eyes at the pudgy boy, but obliged him, starting to scurry down the tree. Pacha didn't have the imagination to daydream about dragons. He couldn't even read as much as her, she thought to herself, and she was younger than him by 4 years!  
>"Don't fa-" Before Pacha could finish his warning, her foot slipped on the branch she was stepping on and down she tumbled,letting out a short scream and seemingly smacking every branch on the way down until she landed in a crumpled heap at the bottom. Pacha ran over to her side, his tan face paler than it had ever been. "Chicha!" he exclaimed, "Chicha, get up!" She sat up, her hand clamped over her left shoulder and her chest heaving.<p>

"Go get Papi!" she commanded, her voice shaking, "It has to be my Papi!" The boy turned and ran towards the fields without another word as Chicha sat in the dirt. She cursed her eyes as stinging tears tried to force their way out. She was just as tough as a boy, and a boy wouldn't cry from falling, right? Right, she affirmed herself, pursing her lips together. She turned her head to see her father running towards her. He scooped her up in his arms, cradling her against his chest.  
>"Are you hurt, Mi Reina?" he asked, checking her over before discovering a wide gash on her shoulder, "What were you doing to get a scrape like that!"<br>"I will tell you right now Papi, it was definitely not from climbing that tree," she responded, smiling weakly.  
>"How many times has your mother told you that you aren't allowed to climb trees!" he scolded her, his harsh tone betrayed by the soft look in his eyes.<br>"A lot," she mumbled, looking down. Her father shook his head, chuckling.  
>"There's no stopping you, is there, Reina?" he said as he carried her towards their home.<br>"Papi, no! Mother can't know I was climbing the tree, she'll be furious!" she exclaimed, struggling to clamber out of his arms.  
>"Tell you what," her father said conspiritoraly, "I won't tell Mother. But you have to help Pacha watch the Llamas for me for the rest of the week, and you have to fix tha tear in your dress yourself."<br>"Deal!" she exclaimed, jumping down and running off to join her friend.  
>"What about that scrape!" her father called after her. She called back, "I'm fine Papi!" and continued running to catch up with her friend. Pacha waved to her from his perch on a large stone in the middle of the field, lookig relieved to see her coming.<p>

"I thought you were really hurt!" he exclaimed.  
>"Nah, I'm fine," she responded, sitting next to him, "I'm not that weak."<br>"I never said you were," he responded quietly.  
>"My mother thinks I am," she responded, "My mother wishes I was a boy."<br>"Nuh-uh!" Pacha said, shaking his head, "Your mom wants you to be a proper lady."  
>"But I'm not a proper lady!" she huffed, holding her chin in her hand, "I want to go on adventures and meet mermaids and heros and fight monsters. I want to find a hero who will make me his beautiful bride and take me on adventures with him."<br>"I'd take you on adventures," Pacha mumbled.  
>"Oh yeah? And where would we go? To the top of the hill?" she made a face, realizing she was being a bit mean, "I just want to go far far away and never come back. Ever."<br>Pacha said nothing to this as Chicha continued, "My mother wanted me to be a boy when I was little. Now she wants me to be just like her, but I don't WANT to be like her!" she sighed again, kicking her feet against the rock, "I'm going to fly someday."  
>"You can't fly," Pacha said, looking at her skeptically, "You don't have wings."<br>"I'll make some," she snapped at him, glaring, "I'll make them and I'll fly so far away, no one will ever see me again."  
>"How will you make wings?" he asked, looking at her in awe.<br>"I'll go down to the banks of the river, where all the parrots and parakeets are," she said, "And I'll gather all the feathers down there, and put them together with candlewax; just like Icarus. But I'll be smart and not fly too close to the sun. I'll fly just high enough to get away," she looked at her friend, "Do you know who Icarus is?" "No..." Pacha replied, scratching his head. Chicha sighed, looking away.

"Of course you don't," she whispered, looking out over the fields.


	5. Abuelo's Library

"Chicha!" her mother snapped, making the 9 year old girl snap out of her revelry, "What was I just saying?" "Um..." she smiled weakly, "Well, you see I was listening..' Her mother rolled her eyes, pointing at the guitar in her hands.  
>"I was saying your hand positioning is wrong, and don't grip the neck as if it were a chicken! Hold it gently, lightly," she said, repositioning Chicha's hands. Chicha pulled away from her mother's grip, frowning.<br>"I can sing well enough, why do I need to learn guitar too?" she demanded, "I'm so bored with all these lady lessons!" Her mother reached out, slapping her wrist hard.  
>"Don't argue with me!" she snapped, "If you don't enjoy these lessons, perhaps I should leave you home with your father and his beasts." Chicha bit back an enthusiastic agreement, knowing it would not go over well with her mother.<br>"I think I'm just tired," she said, fanning herself, "It's much too hot today." Chasca gave her a hard look, but nodded.  
>"I feel quite tired myself. We'll continue after lunch and a small siesta, does that sound fair?" she conceded.<br>"Yes mother!" she responded, perking up slightly.  
>"Well, go on then. I'll send for you when lunch is ready," she said, waving the girl off.<p>

Chicha leapt from her seat, dashing down the hall to her grandfather's library. She tiptoed in, her silence rather useless seeing as she was the only living soul to enter this room regularly since her grandfather had passed. She reached up, plucking a large tome from the shelf. She heaved it onto the desk before her, flipping it open to the myths of her grandfather's homeland, Espania. When she tired of old fairytales though, she looked at the shelves for something she had not read. She spied a book that she did not recognize.

"El burlador de Sevilla y convidado de piedra," she whispered, picking the book up, "Sounds facinating."

She became so engrossed in the book, she paid no attention to the time nor her mother's calls.

"What on earth are you doing!"

Chicha nearly leapt out of her skin, snapping the book shut and hiding it behind her back.  
>"Nothing Mother!" she exclaimed, holding the book behind her back. Chasca snatched it from behind her back, gasping at the title.<br>"You're reading this...this.." she threw the book on the floor, "You are a young lady, and young ladies do not read..this!"  
>"But mother, please..." She begged, bending down to pick up the book, "It's so perfect!" Her mother's eyes flew open, her face shocked.<br>"Perfect? Perfect?" she shouted, "Is this what you do when you claim to be tired? You sneak off and read your Abuelo's books?" She drug Chicha out of the room, slamming the door shut behind her. "Well, that is enough! I will not bring you here to deceive me!" she glared at her daughter while marching her to her room, "You will remain in that godforsaken village until you are old enough to have some self control!"

Chicha, despite her desire to read more, felt a twinge of relief in her chest. She could go home, where she could be free.


	6. The Missing Child

"Aya is missing!"  
>The town rang out with cries over a missing girl child named Aya, daughter of a Shepherd. Chicha looked out from the tree she was perched in, high above the village. She had not seen the girl, But she was sure she could find her. She whistled down at Pacha, who was sitting at the base of the tree.<br>"Pacha," she called down to him, "Spot me as I climb down."  
>She shimmied down the tree, snatching her bag from Pacha's hand as she ran towards the village. The entire place was in an uproar, everyone arguing upon where to look and how to read a particular piece of cloth between them all. Chicha pushed her way through the din, looking at the scrap. It was a map. And no one could read it.<br>"Hey!" she yelled, "I can read the map!"  
>Everyone froze, stopping and looking at the young woman before them. How could she read a map? They had no map readers in the village...she must have learned while in the big city. They handed her the map, looking from her to the tubby son of the town drunk standing behind her.<br>"Well, the first thing I can tell you," she said, throwing the map in the dirt, "Is that this is completely useless." She looked to the Shepherd who had lost his daughter, raising an eyebrow.  
>"Where does she like to play?" she asked, waving Pacha over.<br>"Near the northeastern entrance of the Jungle," he replied.  
>"And you've looked there?"<br>"Yes," he said, twisting his staff, "All over."  
>Chicha nodded, heading to the south east.<br>"Where are you going?" the shepherd called, looking nervous, "She can't be over there." Chicha ignored the man as she walked into the jungle, Pacha close behind.  
>"Are we looking for Aya?" he asked, looking down at his younger companion. She nodded, her quick eyes scanning the surroundings.<br>"This way," she said, waving for him to follow. In no time, they came upon the girl, sleeping in the brush. Chicha climbed over, scooping the girl up in her arms.  
>"I'm lost," Aya cried, clinging to Chicha's neck.<br>"I know, but I've found you and I'm taking you home," she assured the girl, starting towards the village by her calculations.

It was nearly suppertime when they finally made it back to the village, the child safely riding on Chicha's back. The Shepherd ran forward, lifting his daughter into his arms, crying in relief.  
>"Thank you," he said, handing the girl off to her mother, "Truly. We would have never found her without you."<p>

She shrugged, shaking her head.  
>"I can navigate, that's all."<p> 


End file.
